Class outing, and first club approach
Went out for dinner and drinks with my summer class, i.e. people who I've seen a lot over the last couple of weeks, but didn't know before. Had a good time, and was really *on* - with some chicks, I had C&F really down - I kept teasing them until they were laughing their ass off.
One girl that likes me had to leave. I would have gotten her number, except I came up with something better: when she was showing pictures of her new flat on her cell phone, I took the phone to look at the pics, and checked her phone book for her own number. Memorized it, and entered it into my own phone later. This way, you can also check for boyfriend's numbers (phonebook entries like "darling" etc). If she notices that you're messing with her phone, you can even bust her on it ("Just checking for nasty photos" etc), provided you got the rapport to be seen as funny rather than nosy. Yes, it is wussy to get her number this way instead of asking, but the upside is that she's going to be surprised and impressed when you call her, without her knowing where you got her number from.
Also took the initiative in getting people to go to a club afterwards. First had cocktails at a bar, and my game suffered from being stuck between two guys (we were 4 guys and 3 girls all in all). Where you sit upon entering a bar or restaurant is really crucial, and yet kind of random - any ideas on how to make sure to not get stuck next to boring guys?
At the club, again had a good time, everybody started dancing, except for one guy and girl who were playing too cool to dance to old-fashioned music. These days, I really enjoy grooving to the music, but I can't do it completely sober, only after a beer or two - not getting drunk, just loosening inhibitions, actually works better for me than not drinking at all. Got some kino, and no resistance, but no reciprocation, either. That happens to me a lot - I initiate kino, and the girl gives no indication wether she likes it or not, doesn't stop me, but doesn't seem to enjoy it either.
Spent some time with all of the girls, they were all nice enough, but not madly attractive. In this case, should you focus on one girl, or just go with the flow and keep your options open with them all?
In the end, everybody had a good time, but everybody went home alone. Except for one girl and a guy that I had thought un unlikely pairing - shy, geeky girl, and an AFC-like guy, who had shown hardly any sign of being into each other. Strange.
Oh, and I actually approached a girl in a club for the first time. She was dancing wildly, and drinking from a bottle a guy was holding. So I opened her with "Hey, what are you, exploiting all the guys to buy you drinks? Pretty mean!". Unfortunately, she turned out not to speak German too well, and said something like "Me russia, not speak much, back to man".
The good:
- Enjoyed myself and genuinely had fun in a club
- Got a group of kind-of-strangers to enjoy itself
- First club approach ever, yay!
The bad:
- Couldn't get it on, even though the girls in the group already knew me, and knew me to be cool and social
- Didn't know how to escalate
One girl that likes me had to leave. I would have gotten her number, except I came up with something better: when she was showing pictures of her new flat on her cell phone, I took the phone to look at the pics, and checked her phone book for her own number. Memorized it, and entered it into my own phone later. This way, you can also check for boyfriend's numbers (phonebook entries like "darling" etc). If she notices that you're messing with her phone, you can even bust her on it ("Just checking for nasty photos" etc), provided you got the rapport to be seen as funny rather than nosy. Yes, it is wussy to get her number this way instead of asking, but the upside is that she's going to be surprised and impressed when you call her, without her knowing where you got her number from.
Also took the initiative in getting people to go to a club afterwards. First had cocktails at a bar, and my game suffered from being stuck between two guys (we were 4 guys and 3 girls all in all). Where you sit upon entering a bar or restaurant is really crucial, and yet kind of random - any ideas on how to make sure to not get stuck next to boring guys?
At the club, again had a good time, everybody started dancing, except for one guy and girl who were playing too cool to dance to old-fashioned music. These days, I really enjoy grooving to the music, but I can't do it completely sober, only after a beer or two - not getting drunk, just loosening inhibitions, actually works better for me than not drinking at all. Got some kino, and no resistance, but no reciprocation, either. That happens to me a lot - I initiate kino, and the girl gives no indication wether she likes it or not, doesn't stop me, but doesn't seem to enjoy it either.
Spent some time with all of the girls, they were all nice enough, but not madly attractive. In this case, should you focus on one girl, or just go with the flow and keep your options open with them all?
In the end, everybody had a good time, but everybody went home alone. Except for one girl and a guy that I had thought un unlikely pairing - shy, geeky girl, and an AFC-like guy, who had shown hardly any sign of being into each other. Strange.
Oh, and I actually approached a girl in a club for the first time. She was dancing wildly, and drinking from a bottle a guy was holding. So I opened her with "Hey, what are you, exploiting all the guys to buy you drinks? Pretty mean!". Unfortunately, she turned out not to speak German too well, and said something like "Me russia, not speak much, back to man".
The good:
- Enjoyed myself and genuinely had fun in a club
- Got a group of kind-of-strangers to enjoy itself
- First club approach ever, yay!
The bad:
- Couldn't get it on, even though the girls in the group already knew me, and knew me to be cool and social
- Didn't know how to escalate
1 Comments:
Just felt the need to comment on your phone number tactic.
Don't do that. Unless a girl is already heavily attracted to you, she is going to be creeped out if you call her up out of the blue, when she didn't give you her phone number or whatever first. It's not a socially acceptable way of doing things, generally speaking...
Since I'm writing anyway, I'll mention that your kino on the dancefloor was probably wanted but unwanted. By them not ackowledging your kino means that they probably weren't very attracted to you at that time. You had not displayed a high enough value(attraction-value that is) to them, for them to be okay with playing around with you.
Of course they didn't contest your kino either. It made them feel good about themselves, in a weird kind of way. Women are always trying to look good, both to men and other women. Their pursuit of trying to be "cool". (Cool = High Social Value) You made her feel wanted, and perpetuated her ideology of "being the prize".
She had the mentality that she was too "cool" on the dancefloor for you.
Which basically comes down to you not having enough one on one attraction value to any one of the girls on the dance floor. Nor did you have enough global-attraction-value for it to be socially OK for them to "let loose" with you.
*shrug* just my opinion.
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