New Opener idea

Walk up the a girl on the street, saying you've got to take a quick note, ask her to lend you a pen.

Write down your phone number in a notebook, tear out the page, and hand it to her when you give back the pen.
When she asks, tell her some fluff like "had to meet you, call me".

Now all I need is the time to field-test this.

The bastard, he failed the newbie mission!

Went to a mall today to do the "newbie mission", i.e. get eye contact with girls walking by, and simply saying Hi. The goal was at least 10 nice/hot/interestin-looking girls.

The score? 0. I could not get decent eye contact with anyone today, let alone a smile. Seemed like everybody was in a bad mood and actively trying to avoid contact.

Might have been a combination of the weather (rainy after a couple of nice days), the day (Saturday means the mall is really crowded), and the mood (lot's of screaming kids, mothers screaming at their kids, salespeople looking worn out,...).

I tried to maintain a positive attitude, but I guess the athomsphere rubbed off on me, and I couldn't really get into the right attitude.

Gonna try again on Monday, with a different day of the week, and a different mall.

Foreign chick opener

A little while back I saw a group of Asian people sitting at a nearby table at a restaurant. I totally dig foreign, especially asian chicks. At that time I just couldn't think of any way to go talk to them.

Had an idea for an opener today:
"I was just making a bet with my buddy that I can guess people's nationality - let me guess - are you guys from [some country]?"

Shows you as open-minded, international etc, gives you stuff to talk about, and if you guess wrong (like India instead of Pakistan, or any other pair of countries that don't particularly like each other) it will even get them emotional.

Should work great, I'm itching to find a group of foreign-looking people to try it on.

Report on techniques

"guess a number from 1 to 5 / 10" -> guess that it's 3 and 7

Works like a charm. Tried it today, and the girl really had picked 3 and 7, it just blew her away. Just bringing it up regardless of other conversation topics feels weird, though, you have to bring it up when it fits into the conversation. Which is easy enough, just bring it up when somebody says something like "how did you know? did you read my mind?".

It works especially well on smart, rational girls who don't believe in any magic/horoscope type stuff.

You can extend it beautifully: She *will* ask you how you knew that, then you're free to make up anything on the spot, preferrably something that escalates, e.g. "how eyes widen when the number is large" will lead to a deep gaze into her eyes etc.


"How do you manage to put up with her" delivered to the target's friend

I just love that line. Delivered with a smile, it strikes the perfect balance between arrogant and funny. Plus, it's really easy to weave it into a conversation; you can always find a behaviour or attribute to bust her on.

Great prop: Guidebook of your own city

Purely by accident, I discovered a great prop to have with you in a coffee shop etc: A guidebook of your own city.

First of all, it makes you very approachable: Anybody else will assume you're a tourist, so people will actually come up to you by themselves to ask about your stay, point out interesting things to do etc.

And secondly, after you've started a conversation, you can say something like "A friend of mine from [some exotic location] is coming to visit soon, so I'm preparing to play guide for him". Makes you sound interesting, gives you social proof (taking care of your buddy) and gives you *tons* of stuff to continue the conversation: How you met your friend, what did you do in [friend's country], ask her for advice about what to show him in the city,...

Plus, you can continue with something like "Hey, did you know that ?" People love it when you tell them something they didn't know about their own city.

It's in the mindset

While my actual approaches are still mostly lame, I have internalized the PUA mindset pretty well. Just like a businessman always notices opportunities ("I wonder why all the hair gels are targeted at the super-strong wet look segment?"), or an engineer always appreciates technology ("I wonder how they managed to build that bridge with so few supports?"), a PUA will always notice targets, moods, or props.

Regardless of whether some person's a PU target or not, I made a point to notice the mood of everybody I talk to, whether they seem interested, hurried, tired, bored, stressed,...Also, I watch out for things to talk about: A girl that is reading a horoscope book, another one that's carrying a bag showing an airline's logo, somebody dropping something, or standing in somebody else's way... - just things to notice, and to use as a situational opener.

My goal in appraoching is not yet to close chicks, but to talk to as many strangers as possible: Saying Hi to somebody on the street, seeing if I can start a personal conversation with a shop assistant or waitress, strinking up a convesation with people standing in line,...

Why the 3-second-rule doesn't work for me

That the 3-second-rule (immediately approach a group upon entering a venue, and approach a target immediately after noticing her) is one of the most important rules is a given for many guys.

Not for me, though. Why?

Well, let's examine why the 3s-rule works:
- It gives you social proof
Because you're never seen standing around alone
- It prevents you from chickening out
Because it makes you go talk to her before you can have second thoughts

For me though, the primary problem is *not* being afraid of talking to people, but finding a good opener, and stuff to talk about. If I talk to a girl immediately, I'll be nervous because I couldn't prepare, and that nervousness will come through. If I spend a little more time observing her and the situation for potential conversation props or situational openers, I will come up with more good stuff to talk about.

Hanging around before appraoching is a problem, but that can be overcome by being in a group of friends or wings that you can hang out with in between approaches. Another way would be to be in a loaction where people do not go primarily to socialize, like a bookstore. That's why I prefer coffee shops over bars: people are just as relaxed and open to meeting people, but you can easily hang out by yourself while reading a magazine etc without seeming like a loner.

Goals for next week

1) Go out more, and approach strangers
Just to see how it goes. Bonus points for being shot down, or embarrassingly not knowing what to say etc, because that'll mean that I dared to push myself beyond my current abilities.

2) Make some money in five new ways
Helps with the whole "being interesting and active" thing, besides netting me some much-needed cash. Some ideas for now: Find stuff that sells well on ebay, put AdSense on some previous blogs of mine, start an informal resume-writing service, offer tutoring,...need some more ideas.

3) Use that money to buy a cool new outfit
Loud but stylish shirt, fashinable jeans, fancy belt, new shoes.

4) Find out five new cool things to do or see in my city
Might be a sight I hadn't known about, a cool new bar or cafe I haven't been to,...Should be fun, plus I'll have some ideas for dates ready as soon as I need them (I know PUAs don't "date", but you still need to spend time in the comfort-building zone, so by date I don't mean "I'm gonna pay for dinner", but "We're gonna do something fun together").

5) Get in touch with five neglected friends
Emails, Activities, anything.

Hey, if I get all that done, I'll officially call myself awesome.

Keep on running

Took up going for a jog in the morning again. Yes, it still is freaking cold where I live (it snowed just a couple of days ago). So why?

1) It keeps you fit
Shouldn't have to mention it. Actually the least important reason. Though for me, it's important because I start gaining weight immediately if I don't do any kind of sport for longer than a week or so.

2) Wakes you up
I'm not a morning person. Most of my best work is done between midnight and 4 a.m. So waking up even earlier than necessary to go jogging is super-hard for me. The benefit is that nothing brings you up to speed better than a jog followed by a shower.

3) Makes you feel badass
Jogging is hard for me. I can easily bike for an hour without feeling much strain, but jogging feels like I'm 5 minutes away from dying *during the whole time*. Making myself do it strenghtens my self-discipline muscles, and allows me to start out the day with a feeling of accomplishment and generally being awesome.

My sticking points

So what's holding me up?

I've made great strides in terms of style, clothes, physical fitness, and generally taking care of my body and appearance.
Also, I've become way more confident, social and extrovert.
So what's holding me up?

1. Approaching girls
When a situational possiblity to strike up a conversation presents itself, I'm pretty good at exploiting it by now. The problem is when I know nothing about a girl, and the surroundings don't offer any clue (i.e. a club or a bar, as opposed to a bookshop or university setting). It just feels weird to use a canned opener, and I don't really know what to talk about.

2. Keeping it going
Quite a few times, I extend a non-personal business transaction or a chance encounter into a short personal conversation. But I fail to profit from it because I then run out of conversation and just say goodbye. Which brings me to...

3. Closing
I don't even want to know how many girls met me and thought "Seemed like a cool guy, too bad he didn't make a move, now I probably won't meet him again." Need to find more ways to get from casual acquaintance to phone number, or any other way to get in touch again.

4. Maintaining
Sometimes I get so caught up in work, studies or activities with friends that I just don't get around to making stuff happen with new girls I met, so the leads i do get dry up.

As they say, realizing one's shortcomings is the first step towards improvement. Here's to it.

Woodhaven distilled

Found some good articles on the Natural game journals: One , Two

You should click over and read them for yourselves, so I'm not gonna summrize them here.

What I took away was:

On one hand, it ultimately comes down to whatever method or way that you feel good doing and are successful with. E.g. the "passive value building" mentioned (jump in with a story of your own when it fits into a conversation) vs. Mystery's more proactive approach (walk up to her and tell her the (possibly prepared) story. It's really a matter of jugdgement, being more active vs. risking to be seen as needy.

On the other hand, there is a common set of "natural laws". For example , the Value-Compliance-Attainablity method (I don't like the term "manipulation") is really just the "Attract her, then build comfort, then close" model of Mystery and many others given new names.

Which *really* boils down to that most important principle of all: Walking the fine line between push-over and asshole.

Couchsurfing

A while ago I signed up with Couchsurfing.com, a non-profit service to find people who are willing to host other people for a night or two for free. It's a great idea, and while I understand that hosting strangers (apart from there public couchsurfing.com profiles) is not everybody's thing, it's actually taking off - in most metropolitan areas you can find a ton of members.

Great idea, and something I'm planning to make extensive use of as soon as the weather becomes suitable for backpacking.

Recently, I was actually contacted by two different people wanting to stay at my place. I'm a little nervous about how it'll go, but I figure it's gonna be a fun way to meet some people, and practice hanging out and connecting with total strangers.

More "I got a boyfriend" research

The girl-with-boyfriend from my last post (let's call her BCzech [get the pun?]) keeps flirting. I should probably get her number, so we can do something together during the weekend. Let's see how I fare.

Case study No.2:
Another girl in my course recognized me right at the beginning, even though it took me a while to remember who she was. In fact, she's the girlfriend of a guy I used to be friends with some time ago (still say Hi when I met him, just haven't seen him much).

Now she's acting all interested, coming up to talk to me all the time, and paying me compliments. Though her being someone's girlfriend is the only reason why I know her at all. Optimistacilly, I put it down to magical attraction due to my newfound PUA attitude.

"I got a boyfriend" research

Been teasing a girl in one of my courses. After a while, she offhandedly mentioned a boyfriend, yet kept on flirting. Interesting, let's see where this leads.

New goal is to talk to as many new people as often as possible, and to practice coming up with small talk topics to keep a conversation going with people I know nothing about.

Plus sticking my neck out and getting noticed. If somebody is asking for volunteers or looking for answers, my hand's already up.

Distilled Wisdom

Did a lot of reading of all the material found in various PUA gurus's ebooks, and on websites. The more I read, the more I realize that everybody has his own, distinct way. There's not really a point to memorizing anybody's rules or techniques; the important thing is to internalize the principles and attitude.

What's more: The PUA methods are not actually that different from the "traditional nice guy going on dates" method. The main difference is the mindset, e.g. thinking of screening babes instead of applying for their attention, generally being proactive and talkative and social, and escalating to make your goals clear.

It doesn't really matter if you "use a Neg" or are "cocky and funny". It makes no difference wether you use a memorized, canned opener (provided you pull it off to make it sound non-canned), make an opener up on the spot, or just say Hi without thinking about what comes next. The important thing is to get up and do something, i.e. get talking to her.

Some good general points:

Body language: just assume the most relaxed, most open, most space-consuming position, and you'll get it right.

Attitude: Being alpha and attractive does not work by being nice to her, but by being *not nice* to her, thereby showing her that you are capable of putting someone in his place.

Gender roles: It helps to think of her not as an independent, grown-up woman, but as a kitten that has to be lead, sheltered, trained. I do *not* propose keeping that attitude, woman for sure *are* independent and strong and all that. But in terms of romance, she's just hardwired to look for the dominating male.

And perhaps my 2 favorite things:

DO NOT EVER SAY NO to an invitation to do something that might be fun and/or meet new people.

DO WHAT YOU WANT and feel like, without regard for others' approval.

You got your opportunities, but you fuck'em up

One:
Drove one hour to another town just to work out at the gym (I still have a few "free" months of membership to use up there). Noticed a cute girl, not really sexy but pretty cute, a little younger than myself, and seemed a little shy. In other words, the perfect training opportunity: attractive enough to make it worthwhile, but impossible enough for anything serious (as I said, I live one hour away) to truly not care about the outcome. Wimpy me didn't even talk to her.

Two:
Stopped by at a supemarket to grab some groceries. Standing in the checkout line, I saw a girl that I could have sworn was a high school friend of mine. Haven't seen her in a long time, but pretty sure it was her, underneath a changed appearance and attitude I could really sense the girl I used to know. I even knew she would be interested in meeting me, since she met my parents at the vet a while back, and asked how I was doing at that time. Again, I was too timid to make a move.

So not one of my better days, social interaction-wise. But one thing I did do was pay a lot more attention to the group dynamics of people around me. Plus, when watching people interact, I've involuntarily started to classify and rate peoples' actions in pickup artist slang ("Nice Neg, but where's your DHV?").

Oh, and I got a very solid workout done, plus kept my commitment to cut any junk food from my diet.

Good thing, this blog, forces me to make stuff happen in order to have something to report, even if it's just a temporary lack of cojones like today. Already got ideas for tomorrow.

I'll take that as a compliment

Today, a male friend of mine said in a joking kind of voice:
"you have that evil, self-satisfied smile on your face".
Exactly what I was aiming for.

Last week, while going out:
Friend of mine, who knows me as kind of reliable, boring, not a party kind of guy:
"Is there some button labeled Renegade.party() or Renegade.dance() that somebody just pushed?"
Again, exactly what I was aiming for.

(I'm using "Renegade" as a nickname for myself here, Anonymity is sweet if you're posting some true-but-not-necessarily-easy-to-swallow-in-polite-company stuff)

This is it. A new beginning.

This is it. The big one. The change I should have made a long time ago.

A few weeks back, I discovered fastseduction.com, and "The Game" by Neil Strauss. I read it, it opened my ideas, i agreed with a lot of stuf I should have realized a long time ago.

Anyway, when the opportunity came to go to a party today, I decided to put everything I voraciously read the last days to use. By this I don't mean any stupid openers, games or routines. I mean the attitude, the realization that women really do think a whole lot different from guys, and that they actully *do* want a jerk. I thought it was being nice towards them and tough towards a crisis, but in fact they judge you only by the way you behave towards them, and that means tough, and not taking shit from anyone.

I always had an independent streak, but only today I truly decided to fuck the consequences, and not take shit from anyone, and express myself.

So when this chick crashed her beer bottle on top of mine, making it overflow, instead of (literally) sucking it up, I let it flow, and then continued to drowse her in what was left of my beer.

The other guys of course took her position immediately, and told me I overreacted. Mayber, and maybe I lost all respect due to not being able to take a minor insult, but as I said , as of today, I officially don't care anymore. I can't possibly get worse results, women-wise, as I've gotten that far, and as far as my friends are concerneed, i'm graaduating in a few months anyway.

The funny thing is, afterwards she came to sit besides me, and even if she was mad at me (because I offered to apologize for overreacting, but not for reacting), she still decided to be near me, but you know what? That's the point when I decided to leave. I told the girl living at the party's location that I would come to clean up next thing next morning; she wanted me to stay and do it now, but of course I just blew her off.

The guys then decided to punish me, by having me on top of the table, undressed. I said, fine, let the girl undress me. She didn't really believe I would do it, so I just stood next to the table and had her loosen my trousers, and just as it became serious/embarassing, I stooped her and said, Whoa, not so fast. Which actually made her look like the looser, and made me look like the guy that the girl has the hots for, and put a big grin on my face.

More on how it's gonna play out later, I gotta get some sleep now, I'm quite smashed. Besides, I really am gonna wake up early and help the host clean up, just because I'm not a nice guy any more doesn't mean I'm gonna let other people clean up my shit.