Getting things done in August

Had a bout of bad procrastination the last couple of days, realized I needed to do something about it. Noticed that it's the 31st of the month, with one hour to go till the next month starts.

So here's the plan:
During the whole month of August, I won't touch the net without specific research purpose. No news sites, no digg, no reddit, no blogs, no RSS feeds, no pr0n, no technology tutorials, no flash games, no forums, nothing.

Watch me get stuff done!

Plans on how to use the freed-up time:
- Improve my Spanish by finishing the first novel that I read in the spanish original. Pretty tough going, need the dictionary a lot, and manage about 10 pages per hour (only 500 or so to go...), but I'll do it.
- Mountainbike, jog, work out or otherwise exercise every day
- Do some networking. E.g. calling up all my former college buddies who've graduated, and offering to buy them dinner in exchange for picking their brains about how their job search went.
- Reducing the pile of unread books on my "stuff I should read before graduatin" list

Changes

My self-improvement program is continuing full steam ahead:
Completely changed my diet by just radically cutting out anything that's fatty, sweet or fast food, and stocking up on fruits and vegetables. Stopped jerking off almost completely. Stopped wasting so much time on the net. Got into the habit of getting up at more or less the same, early time every day.

These changes are gradual, but steady, and I'm already noticing how I get more stuff done, while being more relaxed (because I'm getting things done, so I don't have to worry about not getting stuff done...Stress doesn't come from having a lot of work, but from being behind with your work). And most importantly, I just feel better.

It's amazing how, after you eliminate a bad habit, after a while you don't crave the thing you used to do before any more.

One more observation: Self-discipline doesn't work. If you have to force yourself to do the right thing, you'll slip back into your old bad habits really fast. You have to *want* to do the good thing. It's a mind game: "I can't eat that chocolate (but I really want to)" is a losing proposition, you will only be successful when your way of thinking becomes "I don't want to eat that chocolate (but my bad habits try to make me).

Wow. That r in rAFC is definitely justified.

So a friend is having a birthday party,invited all the members of my student organization. Didn't really feel like going, but made myself go, probably due to spending much of the day reading "Never eat alone" - excellent book on networking and business relationships.

Anyway, when I got there, it was not only members of that student organization, but half of the people I didn't know, and would probably not see again - ideal training grounds!

A bit awkward at first, as everybody stuck together in small groups of people who already knew each other, so for warm-up I chatted with some good friends that I hadn't seen in a while.

Then just joined conversation, and after a few beers, opened strangers. All with a definite alpha mindset - was very cocky, in a mindset of "what makes you cool enough for me to hang with you?". And it worked beautifully - all the girls were loving it, just desperate to get to know me.

Typical course of a conversation (paraphrased):
Me:
Her:
Me:
Her: *ding* suddenly eager to qualify herself to me.

The best part was when one of the girls was chatting with me like she was really into me, and then introduced her boyfriend. I didn't even blink, just introduced myself as if I was happy to meet him, and she just kept on chatting with me and ignoring her boyfriend.

It's important to not stay in a set when they're not paying attention to you because somebody else opened them etc, would just make you look weak and needy.

Unfortunately, I didn't get any phone numbers - sometimes I froze them out, and they didn't re-open me, sometimes they left (is it possible to ask for a number when she's leaving and saying a short goodbye in passing?), sometimes I just didn't realize it was time to ask now, and sometimes they passed out drunk ;-)

Another thing I have to work on is to switch into comfort building - sometimes I continued playful busting when I should instead have started with comfort.

But overall, a great night - amazing to see the difference after a few weeks of getting into the pickup artist mindset.

Dammit, I got a lot to learn

Standing in line at the supermarket checkout. I turn around, see a really hot and cute girl give me a big, sexy smile.
In an instant, my brain shuts down, and I become unable to speak or act. Nothing happens.

The difference is, a while back, I would have been happy about the smile without even thinking about acting on it. Now, I kick myself for not acting, and think of ways to improve.

Plus, the reason I went to the supermarket was to stock up on super-healthy food, I'm taking my diet one step further towards healthiness.

Go, me! It's just my general approach to learning new things: I might suck, but everyday I suck a little less, I don't even notice the pain of failure, and I never stop trying.

Downtime

Not much time for going out lately - either I have too much work, or I'm too tired afterwards.

Instead, lots of socials with various clubs and organizations - fun, but definitely have to go out more and meet strangers.

Got a good handle on self-improvement, though: lots of exercise, keeping things at home neat and clean, new equipment, and more efforts at taking care of my appearance,etc.

Daytime approaches

Went to buy some club clothes. Wasn't sure if a shirt actually suited me. What's a PUA to do? Approach a girl, of course! There were two couples shopping nearby (the point was to approach, not to PU, so a BF with her is okay), and I picked the younger, more stylish girl, to ask her:
Me: Are you shopping for your boyfriend?
Her: Yes, he's over there. (seemed confused, thought I was hitting on her)
Me: Great, then you must be an expert in fashin sense. I was wondering, does this shirt I'm wearing look really stupid or really cool on me?
Her: Hmm, let me see...yeah, I'd say it suits you, maybe....

In a Starbucks, saw a girl studying with a language course. Sat nearby, she looke to be ready to be approached, but chickened out at first. Upon leaving, finally did open her with "What are you studying, French, Spanish,...?" She said it was actually German, and she spoke only broken German, so it was hard to talk much with her. Continued a little with "I'm learning spanish at the moment, I really lik to study in coffee shops, too," and so on. Would have had tons of ways to go on, but as I said, it was hard to carry a conversation in German with her, and I got nervous and ejected.

At the same starbucks, I missed a chance to vibe with the girl at the counter, when I was buying a mug - could have talked about how I was sending it to a friend overseas, finally found a nice city mug etc.

Learning points:
- Be aware of the situations, just inject any comment that comes to your mind.
- Be aware of people's moods, a girl who's in a good mood will react open to almost any opener.
- Practise, pracise, practice. I'm feeling good approaching, but still way to hasty due to nervousness.
- Just do it, it's fun!

It's the state, stupid!

Since it was a nice, sunny day, spent some time just cruising around downtown on my bike. Got *lots* of EC and smiles from the girls I smile at, seemed like everybody was really into me.

Last week, doing the same thing at a mall, it seemed like I couldn't even get anybody to acknowledge my presence.

What's the difference?
- The environment matters. If eveybody is in a good mood (street cafe, sunny day), it's way easier than in a hurried or gloomy environment. Even if you're in a good mood, it's hard to break through general grumpiness.
- Your state. I love bicycling, and was really happy about one of the first sunny days. And it shows, even if you're not aware of it, people can always tell if you're truly happy and relaxed, or just trying to force yourself into a good frame.